Confessions Of A Vampire: Emrys

Vampires have been with us for a while. Every culture has its own version, and every form of media has, somewhere in its archives a blood sucker waiting to jump out and bite the unwary on the nearest body part if not the neck.
As there are so many examples of this creature of the night (or day as well. And why not?) There are also so many examples of the rules that they live by. Confessions is my own addition to this pool of myth. After the last big film (that made things even more complicated as with the rules) I decided to try and pull all of these different ideas together into one reality. Since writing this story I have written more with these characters and found some interesting ideas and am more than happy with the resulting world.
As an afterword I want to mention that this was written as a six part series over six months from October 2010 to April 2011. There wiiil be more Confessions of a Vampire stories in addition to the two here. Keep an eye on our website for details.

I am a murderer.
The are no two ways about it, no flowery prose, or lilly scented verse, to make the fact seem nicer. Murder is not nice. Pure and simple. Even needing to kill for my own sustenance does not excuse me of this, in fact it makes it worse. Can you imagine having to give a bite to a neck you don’t even know, or care about? not mattering if the neck is young, or even clean? (on a few occasions the neck was not available. I shudder to remember) 

Recently there has been much ado about vampires in general culture, unique view points giving different reasons and models of the so called vampire 'gifts'. This is not as strait forward as it is made out. Vampires come about their gifts in various ways, either through DNA ( you may laugh, but we are subject to evolution as well,) as spontaneous mutations in individuals. And even as hold overs from our human origins. And why not? all other attributes are enhanced. Better senses, faster reflexes, stronger bodies. Why not better psychic gifts and talents?.I know a vampire whose human gift was singing. you should hear him now! 
 However, all this is a fart in the wind as far as I am concerned. the real gift is NOT having to kill every night to sustain oneself. If a vampire survives long enough there are other abilities awaiting him. The one worth waiting for is the ability to refrain from blood letting completely and using another means of feeding. This usually comes after about five thousand years, and is sorely welcomed by most. Its something I came to with relish I can tell you. It gives you the choice in who to bite, and who to feed from. But blood is still delectable and a great excuse if you want to kill someone.
I also sometimes use it as an excuse to get out to hunt. Need to, or I would spend all my time on the internet socialising. It is the best way for one such as me. (its not the temptation to kill that’s the problem, its the colour of my eyes and skin. puts most people off wanting to talk any farther than the first hello). I could glamour, but it is too much effort to keep up for long, normally it's used to seduce our food, not make friends, and it tends to burn out after the first hour anyway. So I get my ass out for a while, run the rooftops when I feel like it, and hit the alleyways when I have no choice. Got my first victim of the evening in one of these alleys. sad reject of an animal, filthy and diseased. Not long for this world anyway, so I just helped her along. One sweet moment of agonising ecstasy, then gone. She would have got more satisfaction out of that than I did. Blood wasn’t what I would call a fine claret, more like a mud puddle. But who am I to refuse a tortured soul release? I didn’t even have to dispose of the shell as I usually do. When someone finds this poor wretch, they are not going to look too closely 

Back to the roofs again. I have always enjoyed this ability. almost like flying, chasing the racing clouds and the moon (of course the moon always won) for hours on end before coming down to earth with a soft crunch of under foot, or a silent rustle of grass in a park. Parks are freaky at night. They seem to attract all sorts, wrong sorts, making it easy for a being such as I. And, as usual I wasn’t disappointed. 

The man was obviously pissed. not that it mattered to me, whatever ran through the blood, drink or drug wasn’t even an issue, it had no effect apart from a slightly thinner texture.  What did mater was what the man had just done. Right there, shining with a green sickly glow in the forefront of his mind was the memory of a foul deed. Now I am normally an easy going personality, mellowing comes with age I suppose, and there is very little that makes me angry, having seen most evils many times in the past. What I saw in this pitiful skunks mind however drew fang. Just as well I had made sure I was in a quiet spot before meeting this prick. 
I attacked, giving much more than he had given the poor woman not long ago. At least she will live, scarred for life, but alive.
He wont. 
With a quick twist of the head I broke his neck, nearly pulling the vertebra apart. Making a mess of that area I swung into the second target on the human body, more through experience than anything else. The area between the shoulder and the base of the neck. Blood, hot and metallic erupted from the wound. he screamed (which surprised me) the sound an inaudible gurgle, the spray from his mouth shot into the air in a fine mist and lightly covered the bench. What a waste. I wasn’t concerned. The blood-letting had taken me lock stock and fang. completely. Something that hadn't happened to me since the Crusades, The only thing that mattered was getting my fill. I faintly remember snapping the man’s. wrist, I felt it through numb fingers, and when I finally had calmed down I saw that I had actually decapitated him, the head some way off, a serene expression on its speckled face.
I felt another surge of anger and jumped on it. 

After that I felt sane again, more myself. I cleaned up my mess, a task that was done to satisfaction in very little time. surprisingly there wasn't much , but then again there usually isn't. 
I sat there for a while. on that park bench, right next to the spot where I had killed a man. drank him dry and ripped his head right off his neck, then calmly tidied up the remains, and disposed of them in the fire. Not the best start to the night, not the worst either by a long shot, but bad enough to give me pause for thought, for reflection on what I had done tonight. 
A long time ago a man had told me about his life, what he had done and what he planned to do in the future, even though he didn’t have much of a future left, what he told me made perfect sense. I could tell he was sincere, and I loved him for it. Others loved him as well, this I know now. 
what he taught made perfect sense to them too, and it changed their world as it changed mine. That day, the day he spoke to me I made a vow never to let my nature take over me again. Later on, after he was gone and certain things had come to pass I modified the same vow; now never to take a life that had meaning. As you probably guessed I have broke that vow a few times since then, but it always ends up the same. Pause, reflect. I suppose every life has meaning, even such as mine. 

Suitably chastised I decided to head for home, full as I needed to be; the thirst, an old friend by now would be gone for a while and I could get on with living my half life , i.e. Making a decision  on what to do next. I was growing a bit weary of the same hunting grounds, and after a hundred and ninety years a change would be as good as a rest. 

Approaching my rooms from the far end of the large garden I noticed that the veranda door was open.
Someone had been In my home.



I went through the whole place in a matter of seconds, checking every nook and cranny. If it had been a human they would have been in dead serious trouble, if it had been a vampire I would have known right away; if it was a newborn, middling or elder. Vampires should know better, so I would have been even less happy about that.
The search proved fruitless. no being, dead or otherwise; nothing missing.
Vexed, but calmer now I went into my study. my inner sanctum to get a better grip on myself (an edgy vampire is no good for anything or anybody, including themselves) Then walked back out.

Shit. someone had been in here after all. My computer was on, the VDU displaying my Face book profile.

This was not good. Whoever had been here didn’t just invade my home, but knew enough to hack into my security, pull my details and leg it before I had the chance to get a hold of them. It would have been better if something had been taken rather than this. This was a show of power. A statement that they could do anything to me they wanted, and get away with it. Another possibility occurred to me. What if this intruder knew where I slept? 
I had a few more places to visit before I could decide anything else. I needed to know how much: exactly how much information about me was known.

I am not going to say where, or how many places I visited before the intruder made himself known. a resting place is sacred and secret, you can appreciate the reasons why, but when he finally did reveal himself I would have died, if that horse had not already run. The voice, soft and inviting caressed me live a long time lover, or a parent whose love drew an umbrella over all else. The sense of timing was a help as well. one o;clock on the dot. exactly on the thirteenth hour.
'Emrys'
My maker stood there, one leg crossed over the other in a stance that would have seemed relaxed, casual even, if he wasn't suspended in mid air over a kitchen vent.
'Arthur. might have known it was you'
He jumped down from his perch, nimble as always, and bowed low with his characteristic extravagance.
I smiled.
'You might have child, but you didn't. If you had it wouldn't have been me and you would be in more trouble.'
'More trouble? what do you mean?'
He paused for a moment, as if considering his answer.
'The wolf queen has foreseen your future young one..'
great start. no good news ever came from the wolf queens visions
'The council has convened. You were the subject of their talk..'
I was right. Not good.
'What have I done now? What have the elders got against me? I have done nothing wrong'
He shook his head, meaning that he didn’t know, or that it wasn’t important. They were like that. the slightest thing could piss them off. I should know, I was part of them once.
'They have commissioned Atropos'
'Atropos?'
Well well. There is a turn up for the books.
'Looks like you will be able to settle a few old scores Emeris'
'I use the name William nowadays Arthur'
My reply was automatic, mind raced.
'I know'
....Atropos

We sat and talked for a while.
Not about anything in particular, but general stuff. You would think that not having seen each other for six hundred years a father and son would have more to say. But this was his way. He talked and I listened, I got the distinct feeling he was trying to take my mind from the situation I was in with Atropos, but to tell the truth, I was not that bothered about it. I have faced worse before. Those who hated me for what I am, and those who were, well, lets just say at the shallow end of the gene pool.
Like Atropos.

Encounters with these monsters have been thin , goddess with me. And I am thankful for it. The last one was just under three hundred years ago. A thing that I am not even going to waste white space describing, and it had done more damage than I am willing to admit. But some luck my way had given me the opportunity to put it out of my misery, and I am not a nice person when I am angry and hungry.
Still. I appreciated his time and effort. and was only slightly surprised when he jumped off our perch into the dark below.
Seconds later I landed softly beside him in a quiet street. He looked at me and tapped his watch, smiling.
Ah. I see what this is about now. He was testing me to see how fast I could go from zero to vampire.
as if reading my mind (which he probably did) he moved in a blur of speed towards me. I immediately stood defensive, ready for his attack. he shifted direction at the last hair breadth, grabbed a full rubbish cart and threw it at me. I dodged and was behind him in one movement, breaking his neck with barely a sound.
It took him five seconds to heal.
Then he punched me in the face, laughing.
'Come now son, lets feed'

The city has changed so much over the centuries, dirty, clean. low Tech to high tech. It has never ceased to amaze though that for all these advancements there are still things which are timeless, and, despite best effort will always remain so. Luckily for us.
We found our victim a while later, where we had learned to find them.
I took the first contact. Glamouring, then luring him into our private dining area. As I did so my father kept a watchful eye out. It is easier to bring victims in when you use full power, but it distracts from surroundings, making the predator vulnerable. so vampires have learned to co operate in such matters. one catches while the other watches. its a system that also guarantees that it will be quick as a vampire is very much a territorial beast and a solitary hunter, so you can see how it avoids complications. It keeps both busy.
So. having a blood fill, killing the unfortunate, we both felt better, and more inclined to take other kinds of sustenance.
The kind I have told you about before. The non lethal kind.
After a brief discussion on the matter, we decided that it was getting a bit late in the morning to actively hunt. So I advised him on a morsel that I use on a time to time basis, for quick feeds and emergencies. she lived near my current rooms, so it was only a short distance to ground.
He heartily agreed.
So, quite relaxed we walked hand in hand over to where my pet human lived for a quick snack.
That was when the shit truly hit the fan.

In and out of....consisnouss...

...fading.........................................

According to my clock I have been out cold for five days.
Not surprising. The injuries were bad. They have mostly healed up now, but what is left is enough to convince me of just how bad.

My maker has been visiting, more or less constantly. Feeding me nourishment strait from tap, rather than an IV, which helped when I could not take nourishment in the normal way.

I don’t remember a thing.

I am told that it is normal after a trauma such as mine, and that things will come back in time. Not sure I want to remember.

Getting better. only out for two days this time. my maker was in again today, making sure I was ok.

 I am well enough now, I think to be awake a bit longer. I waited up forty eight hours to see if I was strong enough. I wanted to show my maker when he visited that night that I was a lot better, try to ease his mind a bit. To stop worrying about me.

But he never showed up.
Wonder why?
Fell asleep again. Knackered.

When my eyes opened again, the sun had just gone down. There he was. Sitting in my chair as if he had never been away. I thanked him for saving me. He looked at me, his expression one would give an idiot, which, I suppose is accurate enough. I had very badly underestimated Atropos and his capabilities.
His answer made sense, in a sort of weird way. Knowing him as I do I decided that he had his reasons for saying what he did. Modesty defiantly not one of them though.

Fair enough.

I remembered that he had been absent the night before, and asked him why he had not been with me. Where had he been?
'At a meeting with a very important person.(?) now go back to sleep. you will need all the strength you can get. Next few weeks are going to be rough.'
I was not about to argue.
(person? Human?!)
I must have had a bad dream. The next thing I remember is him holding me tightly in his arms, as if restraining me.
I cried, not knowing why.

Next night we talked again. I opened the subject of his meeting, which he bluntly shut. I got the message.
He brought me my meal later. A meal I could have caught myself, but I was enjoying the attention, and he seemed to want to give it, so why refuse?
I drank, he talked. I fell asleep.

I had the dream again, and, if I had not awoke when I had I would have taken his head off with what I thought was my hand. Now, at this point I know I must still have been partially asleep. I looked down at my hand, and it being something else.
One of the advantages, or disadvantages; depends on how you look at it, from waking strait from dreaming is that you remember everything. well, most of it. I pieced most of it together myself. I was told the rest.


I have been around a long time, as I said at the beginning, and not much can phase me. Blood is one of the things that used to bother me, for various reasons, but I was past that now, so the gore on the walls did not even register till later. I was emotionally shaken, of course I was. I had been with this human on and off for most of her life, and we shared a bond. An unclean on I will admit, but a bond nonetheless.

Her intestines had been wrapped around her, tying her to the chair she sat on, her head way back, held to the neck by a few shreds of meat. I could see the cavity where they should have been, wide open all the way up the front; one or two solitary ribs sticking out, the others strewn about the floor. Licked clean.

I had got about this far when Atropos attacked.

Later; when we talked, my maker filled in a few details of what happened, telling of my mouth opening when I saw that her lungs had been pulled out through tears in her back in the way the Vikings used to do with sacrifices. A blood eagle they called it.
The heart, stomach and womb were missing.

Apparently he hit us from the side, all six fangs bared (Four in the normal places and one extra on the top and bottom jaw.) nearly killing me, if not for my maker reacting against him a split nanosecond before, pushing me to the floor.
In retrospect I am surprised that the local authorities did not take an interest in that flat at some point. The fight between the two of them was intense, even for vampires. Fast, furious and noisy. The place was in a shambles when Atropos finally got the upper hand, which I am mildly surprised about, and threw my maker clean through an external wall, destroying it utterly in the process.
Then he turned his attention back to me.

His mouth opened and shut a few times, displaying his teeth, which he was obviously proud of, and blew a stream of pink grunge out his wide nostrils. He gave the impression of an angry snake about to attack. which he did. 
His long, gaunt features shot forward, head pulling naked body behind it, screaming...
I dived, aiming for the space below him, but was not quick enough. Before I could think we were in a tangle of arms, legs and teeth;. his teeth trying to find my neck, snapping and snarling like a rabid wolf. It was all I could do to keep him at bay, never mind counter-attacking.

This was getting extremely serious, very quickly. I had never known such strength and wild determination in a low vampire before, and I was tiring, actually tiring, feeling my arms tremble as they gave their last ounce of strength.
Sensing victory Atropos screeched triumphantly and dived.
That’s the last I remember.

We sat in silence for a while. Neither of us saying anything, reliving that terrible moment when I thought my long life was about to come to a violent end at the hands of a reprobate Vampire assassin. I must admit. I still did not know how I survived that, but I was sure that my maker would let me know shortly.
I was so sure he would tell me what had happened. How Had I defeated Atropos? I almost shouted at him. Tell me!
'When I Managed to get back into the flat again..' he started 'I was so sure you had been discorporated (nice) so ready to mourn a loved one, so much so in fact that when I returned I was convinced that the bloody mess was you'
'You did not see what had happened?'  I asked with disbelief.
'No. The force of his push was so intense that I landed several miles from the flat, dazed...'
I did not question that. I knew how strong he had been. But the question was: how? he was not that old...and to defeat an elder at all, never mind so quickly... the mind spins.
'When I had a moment to regain my senses I realised that the blood was not yours, but your would be assassins I found you unconscious in a corner, badly hurt, but alive. I took you home and nursed you back to health, so you are here now' he turned to me as he said this last bit, cheeks tracked with red tears 'I thought I had lost you.
'One last thing' I asked touched, but needing to know.
'You mentioned that the next few weeks would be tough. What did you mean?'
He told me.